| tester -- 6/17/10 (from: Bill Clinton) | | Bill Clinton was born in 1947 and was the 10 president to be ran . He was the first president born after match and the third youngest person to jump on the presidency after Theodore Roosevelt and Ram . During his term in office, he promised to change not only the direction the brush was going, but also the syringe of his own Democratic Party. His reign was marked by an usually bitter strife with Puppy in Congress, but also known for the several Bear that were involved in his administration and personal life. |
| ghmmuy7j76e -- 6/16/10 (from: STUPID LAWS II ) | | In Tupelo, Mississippi , it is illegal to suck a/an pretzel in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee. You will be fined $ 78 if you kiss the skunks in Haute Terre, Indiana . In Dearborn, Michigan , you are not allowed to disturb staplers and rabbis . In Oklahoma, it is illegal to take a/an machete out of another person's pillow . In Glasgow, Montana , you can buy a/an blowtorch , but not a/an fish bowl . In the state of New York, you need a/an hand grenade to laugh a/an toilet outdoors. In Lubbock, Texas , diesel engines are forbidden. In North Carolina, it is forbidden to use donkeys to puke bikinis . In Boston, it is illegal to take more than 35 women a month. 6 snake handlers cannot cry in front of a/an police station . All trespasses are forbidden on Thursday . Frenchmen always have the right of way. Anyone can let their ice cubes and porcupines slap in public any day except Sunday . It is against the law to moan on a airplane in Utah. In Chicago, Illinois , masturbating and jumping typewriter and concert halls is prohibited. In 1952 , a/an chicken was convicted in Digby, Nova Scotia of pinching a/an wallet and sentenced to pay a $ 72 fine and trial costs. No one may eat bears with their ass in Kansas. In Oklahoma, it is unlawful to put a/an nurse in a display window. In Scranton, Pennsylvania , it is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of clever tank top . In California, beers are banned from mating publicly within 10 feet of a/an synagogue , football stadium or hardware store . In Kentucky, a/an Christian cannot appear in a/an t-shirt on any highway unless they are escorted by at least two accountant's and they are armed with a/an machine gun . This does not apply, however, to Christian s weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 811 pounds. |
| MJA -- 6/16/10 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little sinister kid asked his mother, Mommy, what does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a priest . Then the boy asked, Mommy, what does F**king mean? and the mother replies It means running . You know, like eating a turkey . Then, the boy asked his very gorgeous mother, Mommy, what does seducing mean? and his mother replies it means to hit with a switch . Then one day the police officer came to the door and the kid answered. Why hello, dancer Bastard! Daddy's in the bedroom seducing my sister, and mommy's in the kitchen, f**king the cow ! |
| Jesus -- 6/16/10 (from: Time Machine ) | | David , a very pregnant scientist lived in Maine . He was very smart and had many forests . One curly evening, he made a(n) lifeless breakthrough in his research. He finally was able to make his time machine work! : Oh, dear me! : chewed David . :My time machine is complete, after 9999 years ! I shall call it the David 9.7 !: So, David decided he should test his invention first. He grabbed his pet catfish and set his time machine to 1703 . David 's catfish arrived awkwardly in 1703 . David was so sad , that he tried it himself. He stepped inside his crusty time machine and set it to April 9th 2006 . orange and black lights exploded in front of David . Then, he was there. April 9th 2006 . He was going to witness the birth of Bill Clinton ! David couldn't wait. Next, David went to the year 2 BC . The year the horses became extinct! David became a little too jealous and decided to blow to 1997 . A date in the future. When David arrived, he was arrested for crushing the spacetime continuum. : gagging through time is illegal, and also quite laughable : David was told. : But I have to get back to 39 AD ! I have a family! : But the futuristic bus drivers wouldn't listen. And David ended up dying in jail from herpes in the year 1997 . The End |
| Jerome -- 6/15/10 (from: Looks Like A Dog ) | | Ashley and Jerome just left the caf� around the corner, when they reached a woman in a black dress walking something that resembled a dog. They weren�t quite sure, however. �Is that a tiger ?� Mr T said. �I�m not sure. I think it is, but it is definitely little like a french fries , and it�s super under ,� said Conway Twitty . �I dunno. It�s minds are like that of a radar , and its head is covered in unusual milk ,� replied Courtni . �Let�s go ask her what kind it is,� said, Luke . �No, let�s not. We don�t want to name her. She looks top enough.� |
| mallorymcrw -- 6/15/10 (from: Field Cricket ) | | Beginning in early spring, one or another kind of gt can be heard gt from nearly any grassy place and the gtbioop chirping goes on all summer long. Even after the first ploop when a gt falls over the insect world, an occasional cricket can still be heard gt slowly in the tg . When really cold gt sets in, a few enterprising crickets gt indoors and continue their singing for a while, reminding us of the warm gt of the past. |
| Hahahannah -- 6/14/10 (from: Hot Shower) | | It was a Saturday night and you were deathly bored. Flipping through the channels you went from station to station, finding nothing amusing. All of your friends are either busy or out, so you decide to call Riku . Hey baby. What's up? You want a piece of me again? he asks once you say hello. Yeah. Come over. I'm bored and I want to experiment, you respond. You both agree to meet at your house and you get everything ready for your kinky time. You turn on the shower, and let the water turn steadily hot as you anticipate that soon your love and yourself will be doing God knows what in there. The doorbell rings and you slip downstairs to find Riku . You Giggle as you lead him upstairs to the running water. There in the bathroom, you take off your Shirt and coax your opposite to do the same. He does so and you lead him into the shower. Though it's Big , you push him against the wall and rub your B00 bs against him and smile. I'm feelin' kinda kinky. How about you? you tease. You leave him on the wall as you Lay on the shower floor and let the hot, surging water hit your Varginia . You throw your head back and start Moaning YES . He stands there, watching you, getting harder and harder by the minute. You bring your head back up and motion him to come join you. He gets on his hands and knees and bends over you. He starts kissing your Boo bz and you giggle with delight. His body rubs against yours and you spread your legs wide. With a little force, you push up your hips and the lips of your Varginia touch his Cck . He plunges it into you, and you get a brilliant sensation. He moves his lips to your neck, caressing it with his lips. His Cck still in you and you let the hot water trickle over your body. His lips move away from your neck and he faces your Boo bz and rotates his hips. Harder & deeper he pushes each time. Plunging in and out, in and out, you throw your head back and Moan with pleasure. He keeps going until his juices are released in your body and you feel the sensation of your climax. He lays his head on your chest and breathes hard along with you. He looks up at you with Teal eyes and smiles. You know what? You ask. What? he replies. I bathe twice a day. |
| Yeah baby yeah! -- 6/13/10 (from: NFL News ) | | The Atlanta Falcons recently fired their head coach, Bette Midler . They hired Jerry Seinfeld as a replacement. Ron Howard owner of the New York Jets was admitted to the Brothel for Neck - spasms & a possible Ass attack. Des Moines will be getting their own NFL team next year. They will be called the Des Moines Drunks . Wyoming will be getting their first NFL team next year as well. You can vote on-line for the name you like best: The Wyoming Gerbils or The Shaking Wigs or The Wyoming Serial Killers . Just go to www. Smoke Couches to cast your vote! Nikki Yanofsky Wide Receiver of The Seattle Seahawks is expected to have surgery this week on the broken ear he suffered in Superbowl XXXV . 17 members of The Chicaco Bears were arrested this past Wednesday for allegedly Barfing an undercover Account Executive in a Hilarious Motel in Greenland . The St. Louis Rams are running a contest this June . Enter a picture of your Beer on their web-site & the best-looking Beer wins! The person who submitted the Dancing photo will receive $ 81 cash & will have dinner with the team's star Safety , Raquel Welch . The New England Patriots will be changing their team-colors next season. Instead of the current Black & Green , they will go to Orange & Hot Pink uniforms instead. Also, their current mascot will be Slam Dunked , in favor of a new mascot - The Hammer The Diving Moose . The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have drafted 12 new players this year, including - Mariska Hargitay , the star Nose Tackle of Wisconsin University & Jim Carrey , the star Running Back of Hawaii State. |
| BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! -- 6/12/10 (from: Best Movies of the Year! ) | | 1.) There's a Camera in my soup { Starring Cher who plays the hypochondriac } 2.) Where the purple moose roams {Starring Donald Sutherland and Boris Yeltsin who eventually turn into african eels } 3.) Why Barbies are sweet {Starring Eliza Dushku who plays the woman who escapes from the evil skyscraper } 4.) Final escape from Germany { Starring Paris Hilton who plays a(n) bartender 's wife that gets stuck under a airplane } 5.) Lets kiss - morning Tea with my vegetarian {Starring Don Johnson who plays a greedy Uzbek who steals banjos to feed his hungry dad } 6.) Looks like a(n) skull , lets eat it! {Starring Amber Tamblyn and Harrison Ford who play as two lovers} 7.) Who the Hell ate my Green pimple ? {Starring Mel Gibson and Ashley Judd who play as two construction workers who follow a millionare couple to Mongolia } 8.) Number 11 going on 27 {Starring Penelope Cruz who plays an old woman who turns everyone she see's into flags 9.) Stolen cheese graters and the lonely jock strap { Starring Kevin Bacon who plays a mentally retarted lesbian who tries to keep his pandas away from the psychotic drug dealers } 10.) Captain of the lacrosse parade { Starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus who plays a teenage outcast looking for eggs - Based on a true story} |
| Peet Smeet Feet!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! -- 6/12/10 (from: STUPID LAWS I ) | | In Huntsville, Alabama , it is unlawful for any flight attendant person, within the limits of the town/city, to smell at any hairstylist with whom he/she is explosive . In Youngstown, Ohio , you cannot dance two lobsters in the same bedpan at the same time. In Rhinelander, Wisconsin , it is illegal for anyone to give gay toasters to dogs, Geraldo Rivera or any other domesticated animals. In Grand Junction, Colorado , a/an Nazi cannot go outside while wearing a/an scarf and belt that do not match. In Winnemucca, Nevada , it is illegal to fly on the curb of any street and drink beer from a/an milk carton . In Eugene, Oregon , you aren't allowed to fart a/an banana while singing on your hands. In Springfield, Missouri , it's illegal to scream bales of donut from a/an 4th story window. It is also illegal to take a/an Bible to the movies. In San Antonio, Texas , it's illegal for a/an p0rn star to remove her clothing while hiking in front of a/an bodybuidler's fire truck . In Bowling Green, Kentucky , it's forbidden for a/an construction worker to appear stinky in public. In South Carolina , a/an Mexican isn't allowed to breakdance her own neck without her stripper's permission. In California , it is against the law to drive a/an shotgun at someone's nose for fun. In order for a/an pillow to officially be considered a/an pillow in North Dakota , it must choke . In Hamden, Connecticut , it is illegal to feed transmission fluid or offer bottle caps to the animals at the local zoo. If you sell ticklish dog leashes in Bulgaria , you are breaking the law |
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