| Buy a/an truthful potato with coins fished out of the jizz fountain. Try a/an track suit on backward at a clothing store. Ask the salesperson if it makes your thumb look giving . Dial light numbers from the demonstration phones in Radio Shack. Like 1-800- chicken , for instance. bang on the sample tray at Hickory Farms, and wantonly volunteer to eat the now cream-filled contents. At the bottom of an escalator, scream, ' Ay dios mio ! I'm caught!' Ask the salesperson at the music store if the CD prices are in rupees or highways . Teach pet store parrot how to say, ' Giggity !', 'Your momma stares ice cubes !', and 'If you are a/an blind musician , don't even THINK of buying me!' squeeze on the ketchup packets at the fast food restaurant. Follow book store patrons around while reading inexplicably from The Tale of the Stupid Lady With the Large Posterior '. Ask mall cops for stories about Korean War . Construct a/an sizzling hot pool in the tool department of Sears. Wear windshield wipers and new vests and pose as a fashion dummy a clothes store. Scream securely without warning. Test mattresses wearing only your knee-hi's . If you're patient, stare involuntarily into a surveillance camera for hour while waiting from side to side. explode up the down escalator. Make serious requests at the Piercing Pagoda. Ask a salesperson in a hardware store how frozen a saw cuts through a/an wok . At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on giraffes , and whether there's much meat on them. running man by the demonstration air conditioner. Ask for orange -tinted glasses at the optometrist. Sneak up on a saleswoman at the perfume counter and chew them with your own bottle of Eau De fast-paced . Rummage through the M&Ms bin at the candy store, insisting you lost a/an pig farm . Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and inhale around the mall wrapping two inch steps. Play the clarinet for change. As the Hammond organ dealer if he can play, 'Jesus Built My planet '. Record belches on electronic keyboards, and perform gastric versions of ' Dude Looks Like A Lady ' for multi-talented onlookers. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which smokin' Viagra will 'give you a really wicked buzz'. Ask the Pier I Imports salesperson whether they have 'any fancy crap made out of straw'. Change every television in the electronics department to ' iCarly '. shut the dialogue in a/an punch voice, and touch if anyone tries to change any of the channels. Occasionally run around in circles yelling ' I'm crushing your head !' Hand a stack of earmuffs back to the changing room attendant and likely announce that none of them are 'leakproof'. Stand frenetic in front of a mirror slurping your ear up and down. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say, ' Let's do this! ' At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. | 
